-By 

Apurva Rungta

I must have googled this question countless times when I got to know that my milk supply won’t be sufficient for my baby and I kind of malnourished her in the 1^st month, in my ego to exclusively breastfeed her!

Yep, that’s actually what happened and it was really hard for me to accept this fact as a new mother, following so many exclusive breast-feeding groups online and taking advice (except from my parents and husband) from fellow expert mothers. I would cry a lot at not being able to provide the best nourishment and immunity for baby when that’s all that I wanted to do (plus the new mom hormones really kicked in).

So I started giving her formula too along with my feed. And I made sure that I was the one giving her the bottle too most times of the day and not anyone else (as a substitute bonding experience).

I was finally getting used to this, when to top it all off, my daughter refused my feed directly from me as she had gotten used to the bottle by now. She would shout her head off if I even tried to feed her! My crying bouts restarted now as I was sure she would definitely not bond with me now.

Still I had to keep going, and I started exclusive breast pumping with a single electric breast pump. I would pump 40 minutes in one session, 7 times a day to maintain milk supply and to of course try to fulfill at least half her milk requirement. This was becoming too hectic, I was hardly getting to spend time with her because of the strict pumping schedule, and it affected my other engagements too. I then decided to invest in a double breast pump to save time and energy and though expensive, was that a savior?! I was in a much happier space finally but I was still pumping 7 times a day.

But, after getting into the nitty-gritties of my painful feeding journey (well whose isn’t?), I finally came to a conclusion that what’s most important is that your baby is fully fed and healthy. Mother’s mental health is equally important. Your baby will bond with you no matter what and you are still a good mother, no matter how you decide to feed them! Stop googling and follow your parents’ and partner’s advice. Your baby will be healthy even if you have to resort to other ways of feeding your baby as you as a mother are doing everything in your power to raise a strong, lovely child.